Wednesday, December 12, 2012

The Other Lover


The minute I heard my first love story,
I started looking for you, not knowing
how blind that was.

Lovers don't finally meet somewhere,
they're in each other all along.

Rumi

An attendant mistake to this is trying to find someone exactly like you, or judging everyone you meet on the basis of the lover in the story you have.

How many of your complaints about dating, or about your current partner, are really about them?

Another, better question might be this: how many of your complaints will actually move you in the direction of love, of intimacy, of awakening to what you really want in this life?

Most of us bumble along map-less. Some take the love stories that most excite them, and attempt to frame their lives around them, as if a person could become the characters within. Others collect the viewpoints of experts, friends, family, clergy, strangers on the street, and then attempt to follow the advice they're given. Still others operate with little framework other than sexual attraction, "chemistry," hoping from one hot catch to the next.

None of those options are very helpful in the end, even if they contain pointers.

Until you meet yourself, and see that the love story is really about you, you'll struggle in all things relationship.

A lot of folks never figure this out, and spend a lifetime struggling together and/or alone.

Whatever else you do, make an effort to find the lover within.

*Image "The Two Fridas" - Frida Kahlo


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