Friday, May 4, 2012

Breaking Old Dating Habits


When you have approached things in the same way for so long, it can often feel like there's no way to make changes. The grooves feel too deep, and the fear of change runs through your core.

Today, I want to offer the insights of a fellow blogger whose dating blog I have been reading for awhile now. Lately, she has been make some real effort to shift her patterns around relationships, and the results are starting to come through her words.

I’m doing my best to maintain a positive attitude and so far, it seems to be working. I’ve attracted more men and I’m having a nice time with it. I started contacting men, something I would never have done before, and being flirty and nice. I’m not mad when I don’t hear back and I don’t feel rejected. It takes some work and it takes finesse. It also takes some guts, I will admit. Sometimes it’s uncomfortable because for years I truly felt like the man should always approach the woman. Now, I simply imagine myself standing in line at the grocery store, there’s a cute guy standing behind me who I know nothing about. I just know he’s cute. He has a giant watermelon in his cart, in the front where a child would sit, and I say something witty like, “That’s a big baby you’ve got there!” and then I let him take things from there. Maybe he didn’t approach me because he’s shy or awkward or his mind was elsewhere. Not desperate. Not weird. Just showing that I’m open to him pursuing me, if he wants to.

These views are such a turn around from posts like this one, from about six months ago.

So, think, it really doesn't have to take years to change how you think and approach your life. You don't have to repeat the same old mistakes and feelings over and over again. Through paying attention to patterns, being compassionate with yourself, taking some risks, and letting go of results you can become a much happier, more fulfilled person. Sure, it would be great if you find that wonderful long term partner in the process, but even if you don't, you can enjoy the trying.

4 comments:

  1. Nice one! yeah right. I guess once is enough I mean one experience is really enough to learn from it. I know changing takes time and there's no need to rush things out. I really love this one--"You don't have to repeat the same old mistakes and feelings over and over again. Through paying attention to patterns, being compassionate with yourself, taking some risks, and letting go of results you can become a much happier, more fulfilled person. Sure, it would be great if you find that wonderful long term partner in the process, but even if you don't, you can enjoy the trying."

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  2. Speaking about breaking the old dating habits is just like correcting the old sins you've done in the past. It is a mere representation of "change". I love the way you state the changes you've done just to make sure you will never ever do the same mistake in the past. I can say that through hard work and dedication you will really achieve your goal and will improve yourself for the better if not for the best. Thanks for this one. It is really inspiring.

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