Saturday, December 31, 2011

Is Your Resolution to Find Love in the New Year?

The second half of this post is similar to the one I offered on my other blog. However, I think it's important to share here as well.

Many single folks make New Year's resolutions related to romantic relationships, and then ramp up the search for that special someone. If you are considering doing something like that, please read my blogger friend Maia's post first. She offers a more in depth approach to planting seeds for the new year, one that I have used myself.

As many of you probably know, "resolutions" almost always failure. Have you ever asked yourself why that goal to lose 10 lbs or to choose a more healthy partner falls flat time and again?

Let's face it. The vast majority of our resolutions aren't coming from a deep enough place to succeed. Many of them are simply born out of desperation to change something in your life you do not like. While others are built on hope and wishful thinking, neither of which do anything to bring something into reality.

With that said, Here is the list of specific intentions that I have come up with so far for 2012. The list was prompted a bit early this year by a friend's Facebook call for folks to share with each other. Everything on the list above has come up repeatedly for me over the past several weeks, and some of them are carry overs from the list I made last year.

1) Develop creative, transformative work that support me financially, emotionally, and spiritually.

2) Cultivate gratitude daily.

3) Finish one of the book projects I have in mind.

4.) Be fully open to new relationships in their many forms.

5). Take more intelligent risks.

Note that these aren't off the cuff ideas, nor are they quick-fix goals that I hope will make me feel better.

Notice that only one of the five is something with a concrete end point. That's about the right ratio. 1 in 5. There's nothing wrong with having something really specific in your list, but if it's not grounded by deeper intentions, odds are it won't mean much to you even if it happens.

One of the yoga teachers in my teacher training program reminded me, during a yoga nidra session yesterday, that we can all go deeper. To look beneath for something that encompasses all the rest of your intentions. And so, as I settled in to the nidra practice, this arose:

I trust that the universe is providing what I need.

There's not much else I feel compelled to say. May you have an excellent new year, and may your greatest intentions come to fruition.


  1. The approahc I take with my New Year Resolutions is more-or-less to follow the SMART acronym: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, Time-based. There's one other criterion: it's measured by stuff I can do, rather than stuff that I want to get out of what I do. I figure it's not actually possible for a person to know that x amount of dieting and exercise will result in y amount of weight loss - the body doesn't seem to work that way. So instead of saying "lose 10lb", "figure out a sustainable, ongoing exercise regime that suits my schedule" is something that you're in control of. Have a deadline for when you want to be up and running with it (pun intended!)

    I like to have a plan for how I'm going to achieve it, too. For example, I want to get my novel advanced a fair distance, so I've said "complete a chapter each month" - I know I tend to write about 1k words in an hour, and my chapters tend to be about 4k-6k words, so in theory sitting down once a week and focussing on writing should get me to the target. It's measurable, I have a plan for how it fits into my life schedules so it's realistic and achievable...

    I guess for me this is a lot like my preference for schedules over "to-do" lists.

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